Hi, I’m Jacqueline Hammond. Welcome to Turquoise Key Life Skills Coaching. I coach overwhelmed young people to become calm and self-assured young adults. Useful skills for managing the challenges of leaving home for the first time are explored in this blog post.
Leaving home for the first time as a young adult is scary and exciting at the same time. You’ll probably be looking forward to living by your own rules but also be anxious about what it will be like managing everything you need to live by yourself. It’s completely natural to feel conflicted and one thing’s for sure – everyone goes through this. When I left home for the first time to go to university I was really worried about what it would be like as I didn’t know anyone who had been before and I’m from a black and minoritised working class background. I remember telling my mum that if I didn’t like it I was going to come back at the end of the first term, which I’m pleased to say didn’t happen!
It’s a big deal to start anything new, whether that’s a new job, a course, or a phase of life and if that change involves moving to somewhere new that’s another layer of things to cope with. There are some skills that can help you manage the changes that you have to face.
Preparation
If you can, find out about where you will be going in advance. Go on a visit there with someone who you are close to and walk around the area to check out the facilities that you’re interested in – sports centre, library, restaurants, shops for example. If you are going to a new area for a course or a job then make the journey from where you’ll be living to the place of work/college/university so you know how to get there, how long it takes etc. If you can’t do it in advance, plan to arrive in the new area a day or two before you start so that you can do a dummy run. That will be one less thing for you to think about and will help to reduce the stress of whatever new things you will be starting.
Connecting
Finding someone to talk to, especially if they are in the same position will be helpful. So, make an effort to start conversations with other people you come across in your first few days – at a station, in your accommodation, on your course or just sitting in a coffee shop looking lost. If you feel too reserved or shy to go over and start a conversation try asking a question – do they know where something is – for example. Everybody is in the same boat so most people will welcome a chance to connect with someone.
If you are starting a college, or training course or job they will have pastoral (wellbeing) staff or a manager that you can talk to and some will run events for new starters that you can join in with and meet other people.
Wellbeing (Self-care)
Now you may be keen to get away from anyone telling you to look after yourself but it really is important that you take time to do things that you enjoy just for the sake of them and to try and eat healthily, exercise and get a decent amount of sleep. Of course, you want to enjoy the new experiences that will be around so it’s a question of balance and making time to relax and recharge your energy. The better you feel in yourself the more you will enjoy your course or job and have the energy to do other fun things you enjoy.
If you are experiencing any mental health issues, are finding things difficult and don’t feel comfortable talking to other people about how you are feeling then you can speak to trained professionals from services that are available 24/7 who will be able to give you support at any time: https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support, 0808 808 4994 (text THEMIX to 85258); The Samaritans, 116 123, jo@thesamaritans.org.
Organising
This might not be a very interesting thing to think about but getting on top of your activities can help you to reduce stress in the long run. There are a lot of new things that you will be responsible for, some for the first time so it’s helpful to work out how you are going to manage these:
- Paying rent/bills
- Shopping, food preparation and meal planning
- Cleaning and laundry
- Managing your money
- Studies/Coursework
- Work tasks, training
- Maintaining relationships from home
- Making new friendships
- Relaxation and wellbeing
- Hobbies and interests
Planning your time to make room for the things that you have to do, are important for you and that support your wellbeing will mean that you put focus on the areas that you need to and don’t get to later on in your course or job and realise that you have too much to do and not enough time to do it in!
Managing things on your own for the first time can be really tough especially if you haven’t had much practice. Organising, preparing, communicating and caring for yourself are some of the key life skills which will help you do well and keep well when you’ve left home. If you’re having any issues or need more support I can provide coaching to help you develop these skills so book a free exploration today to find out more. www.turquoisekey.co.uk.
